The Song that Never Ends

You know the one, right?
The one that goes on and on, my friends?
Just when you think it could end,
it begins again!

The research project never ends, nor should it!
We've decided we want to work on publishing our article. I'm not sure if we should announce that? It seems like publishing research tends to be a pretty hush-hush thing until it's actually done. But that is exciting!

The other day I was recounting this experience in a conversation. It just didn't seem as big of a deal today as it was while I was going through it. In fact, I hate to admit, at the beginning of the conversation, I actually forgot about the subject and the title. It literally took me some deep thought to pull that one out of the filing cabinet. I did it, though. But it made me pause.

Will all that work suddenly just disappear into the vortex of brain information? Is it lost if not attended to, pulled and pushed, challenged and expanded? Is it no longer interesting because it is more clear? Or are there other stones to overturn, deeper valleys to pursue?

Cheers to learning process, and the guarantee that it continues to develop with enough attention, curiosity and ambition. 

Generational Differences and Research

Last week, I gave a presentation on Generational Difference in the Workplace and how communication is sometimes lost in translation. I've been thinking a lot about my work and how...it just isn't working for me. In this context, generational differences, I thought about how I was communicating. And I think it has been too much.

This is a time for observation. For reflection on circumstances. A time to train my brain on the differences between professionalism and personalization.

In turning to research, I realize this is also a part of the process - depending on your method,  of course. But isn't it interesting how often we forget to observe what is going on?

Is it could considered a weakness in Western culture? For women, strong-willed women, I think it is a vast and constant juxtaposition of having some ridiculously high standards and navigating to success. Saying nothing seems like a sure way to stay where you are.

But perhaps it is a way to gain information that no one is talking about. Slight glaces and nods. Verbal cues by way of coughing or suddenly dropping a pen.

Or maybe it is the best place to be just outside the circle.

For research, of course. 

Say whaaat?

I think the massive stress of submitting our papers have led our Professor to say some things she didn't mean. Like "I am not going to ask you to do a presentation of your paper for the class." There's more she said about why, but I won't go into details.


Turns out, stress not only shuts down the left side of the brain to make us say things we don't mean, but also has the capacity to erase our memory. So you can imagine our collective class shock when we received an email regarding our upcoming class presentation. Not only did it describe our presentation (worth 150 points) but it would be an inaugural "Annual Qualitative Studies NCA Research Day" complete with food and invitations to professors within the department to view our presentations.

But I'm not whining. No, I'd love to tell everyone about our brilliance as researchers. Cause, as my research partner and I have determined...we gangsta! (in a good way).

In the Homestretch

We're almost there...what does sweet victory feel like?

What does time look like?

How the hell do I submit this thing!?!

Now it's just writing, and re-writing, wordsmithing, editing, and getting our content down to 25 pages. It's pretty cool to see it all come together and see the fruits of our labor. There never seems to be enough time to continue editing and perfecting. So soon it will need to be good enough.

And I know it will be! 

The Anatomy of a Research Proposal

Choose your Own Way Game

1) I hate APA style. WTF is that about? MLA rules. 

2) what strategies does one have to keep all this information straight? By now, we have over 39 resources adding up to approximately one jillion pages of information that is similar, but different. How does one keep that all in tact? 

3) It's just so interesting! I want to read more about this topic and that subject...and get. into. it. but no. write, write, write like an APA. 

4) It feels really great when there is a finished product. Will it ever be good enough.
5) Who said it? Uhhhh...do people actually begin to remember the authors? So many. 

Minus Five Points

Ever have those days and times where it feels like you are a day late and a dollar short? Or when the task list running through your head just seems to get mumble jumbled somewhere rendered incomprehensible as all the other tasks you are doing fight for your attention.

Yeah. Me too.

Unfortunately, this is the result of a task muddled by other tasks. A fleeting moment thought of "oh, shit. That's gonna cost me."

I think there is a relation here to research. It's not only a lesson in procrastination - what NOT do to - but it's a realization that sometimes all the points of research and all the questions swimming around can get lost in the tide and practice of actually conducting the research.

That part seems to be going ok, so far. I realized I actually got a little nervous when starting interviews. It's mostly just the super akward part of reading disclaimers and recording other people (and myself). But after the initial quirky questions, I seem to get into a flow and so do the participants.

In conducting the research questions I realized that there is a lot more information I could have been exploring in my research for this project. For instance, I didn't consider how the questions would change based on the leadership position of the participant in their organization. Perhaps this is a nugget of information I didn't expect that will actually turn out to become meaningful data.

With less than one month to go, I am nervous about the work product of the research project. I feel restricted based on the timeframe we have had in class to fully explore all avenues of this research, but I understand that keeping the scope dedicated provides a focused insight that can be expanded later. I have done a lot of thinking about this project and how I want to shape it into my thesis, and I feel grateful to have this aggressive class get us through the initial first steps.

Sad News Post

This week was a tough week for me. Another death in my close circle, this time a co-worker's son committed suicide. Our office is only four people, and me and my co-worker are the only two full time. I have a lot of differences with this co-worker. In fact, my entire experience working for him and the project has been the launch to my thesis work, so far.

This was the third death in exactly one week, putting "life and things" into perspective. It's a weird place to be to grieve - an arm length away from being close enough to do something that just doesn't seem out of place by my presence. My heart hurts so badly.

Why do we do what we do? Why is this research so important? Why is getting another degree so important? What does it matter if I know the theories of communication?

Maybe none of it matters...And maybe it does.

Maybe if I know about how to reach someone who is struggling with their life, I could save them. Maybe if I showed a little more compassion and depth, someone would know that their life is worth living.

Why do people commit suicide? What other living thing does this? As humans, we have the ability to just...end it. Finale. So final.

This week has been a little difficult staying focused on just one research question. I think maybe that is a struggle for all researchers - and as you can see - certainly a struggle of mine. In an instant, the world can change and that one question that seemed so important, now feels trumped by something more...personal...meaningful...important.

I'm not giving up, just a bit deflated for this entry. 

The Literature and I

I met The Literature once.

In passing.

I saw something beautiful from it, something that resonated with me.

I highlighted it.

The Literature showed me

relationships

and

ideas.


"Hello, The Literature," I say. "So nice to meet you."

The Literature looked back at me, as curious as I was about it. I could feel it judging me - thinking to itself "You do not know what I know."

"How will I ever know what it knows?" I thought to myself.

The Literature, laughed, obviously trying to intimidate me. It almost worked. As those 24 pages of dense information stared back at me, I almost folded.

But I didn't.

No, sir. I shook the hand of The Literature, and with a determined look in the eyes, we dove in together.

I highlighted as concepts were revealed. I underlined words I thought were key.

I tickled The Literature with handwritten notes in it's margins.

I stopped reading and thought. Then re-read...and re-read again.

Soon, The Literature and I developed a relationship ourselves.

During parts of The Literature, I just didn't understand where it was coming from. I looked from other angles, and tried to find it's friends to help me out. Once in a while, I had to just admit...I didn't agree with The Literature. The Literature simply shrugged it's shoulders, the way The Literature does, and kept on walking.

I had no choice but to follow.

After that day, The Literature and I came to an understanding with each other. The Literature began to show me clues to connect it's information. I began to read The Literature with an open mind. I began to read The Literature like an exciting novel!

Soon after, I began to think a lot about The Literature. I began to think about it in everything I was doing. The Literature was seeping into my dreams. It was bombarding my thoughts! I feared I was becoming...The Literature.

But no. As any good relationship knows, one cannot simply become something else. One must seek and find the best pieces, the most relevant pieces, and devour them. Plant them as a seed in the soil of knowledge and shower it with nutritious information.

Soon, I noticed that my relationship with The Literature was changing again.

No longer did I need The Literature. No longer did I need to reference it's references. No longer, did I need to read and re-read, and cling onto every word of The Literature. Because I had found out that within me, was a new, burgeoning Literature. A Literature that was built on the foundation of The Literature - was similar, but different.

The Literature had become a part of research, a basis of knowing, a launch into another world. The Literature and I had come to a cross-roads. This is where our relationship changed for good.

We agreed to write and stay in touch. The Literature told me it was proud. The Literature told me one day it looked forward to reading

My Literature.

Oh, it's Magic!

I couldn't resist including the music video in the chance that my classmates visit my blog and want to take a musical trip to 1974.

If so, how ya feelin', class? I feel pretty good since our question has been locked down and our presentation has been delivered. We came out somewhat unscathed.

And our initial proposal package has been submitted a full 24 hours before the deadline, and we have a few days to absorb the material, and take slight breather before diving back into the research project.

I think the process has been challenging, but actually kind of fun. I get caught up in the doh si doh of semantics, but with a little attitude adjustment, it's just another challenge. And through each challenge makes us better. I am appreciative of the opportunity to have  my first IRB experience under the wing of an experienced researcher, and also value the perspectives of my other classmates.

Each proposal that was presented to the class was very interesting and thought provoking. I love the atmosphere of a university, where creativity and curiosity propels each student into another phase of exploration.

The overall final product is still intimidating, but I am "trusting the process" and trying to have a little fun along the way.

Who's on First?

This about sums up my experience with qualitative research so far.

My original reference was from Rain Man...(if you haven't seen the movie, do yourself a favor and watch this classic!)



But the original version from Abbott and Costello is worth the watch. 

Finding the Question

Research is about finding answers. It is also about discovering new questions. I've struggled with finding the perfect question for my research. And maybe that's the point.

I recently heard this quote by the famous scientist, Albert Einstein: "Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere." Thinking logically to solve a problem (or find a question) will, indeed, present a question. But thinking about a question with imagination...oh, the places we can go!

Sometimes, there is a clear question to ask. But in all of the questions in all of the world...finding the right question finds me swimming around in possibilities. I like that place, and at the very least finding a direction will help me to determine the question. I'm getting closer to the question...but time is running out!

My question has to do with internal communications, as this is what I want to focus my eventual thesis on. I want this project for this class to be able to contribute to this final work, but in examining the possibilities, I am having a difficult time scaling down the options to focus on one particular aspect.

This is where I've come so far:

1. I want to know what drives employees - what "makes them tick" (though making an employee "tick"might have a negative connotation these days.) 
2.  I've focused that to the public sector
3. There is an underlying theme of trust between employees and their managers. The most an employee trusts their supervisor, research indicates the more they will trust their organization, and be more satisfied in their job. This, then, leads to less turnover, better employee morale, and a higher level of customer satisfaction or public engagement. 
4. I'm thinking of focusing on the communications methods used between supervisors and their subordinates that builds trust leading to employee satisfaction. 

Or something like that.

:/

Becoming a Researcher

My high school English teacher was once describing "finding something." The example was how you could more easily find a red sweater in your closet if you are looking for a red sweater. If you are looking for a blue sweater, when you really need a red sweater, the task will take longer. On the same note, if you are looking for a sweater and do not know what color you are searching for, the task will similarly take longer.

I think this lesson can be applied to research. Already, it seems overwhelming to find a research question that is:

- interesting
- thought provoking
- has enough information to research, but not so much that it's overdone
- will forward the profession
- will pass IRB muster
- will pass Dr. May's muster
- accessible within 2 weeks

And those are just the criteria I am aware of; I am sure there is more.

At first I was thinking that this has to be exactly what my thesis or project will be to complete my master's degree. Of course it should! Why would I waste all this time figuring out a question that isn't going to apply to my final product before I get that highly anticipated piece of paper that will propel me into the next phase of my professional career?!?! MUST. FIND. PERFECT. QUESTION.

And then after a little contemplation, I found some solace knowing that I could use this as an opportunity to understand the process better, discover my strengths and weaknesses as a researcher, and delve into a question that is certainly related (and maybe not exact) to what I will eventually write at the end this academic phase.

So I think it is easy to get lost in the forest, but to see through the trees will be to have a little faith and an ample amount of curiosity, an open mind, and a desire to succeed.

Now, for that question...

Hello, again.

Hello Blogger World! It's me, Monak! You remember me, right?

Hello?

Remember me???

Well, maybe we should become reacquainted. I really can't blame you for not checking in on me after a four year hiatus.

Four years. Now isn't that something.

Starting this blog up again isn't actually my idea. It is an assignment for a class in my Master's program. Oh look at me! In a master's program! Who woulda thought? Turns out, I did, and then I actually enrolled and then I showed up to classes and began school again. I like it.

My third semester began last week, but I missed the first class because my Grandpa O'Neall passed away on January 4. I needed to go home and see my family and this morning at 0200, I arrived back in Fairbanks. Don't you just love those 2 am flights? Not like the dark and the cold are enough of a reminder that you live in a rural arctic community, but standing outside watching the last cab pull away at 2 am and praying a cab will come by the airport really hits it home.

Since I missed the first day of class, I am blindly writing my first post. I read it is intended to be a blog to transcribe our experience as researchers. As communicators, it's important to be able to write to communicate. Lucky for me, I can write better than I can speak, and discovered the therapeutic benefits of blogging long ago.

When I wasn't studying for my master's degree in Professional Communication. Now let's work on this researching thing.

I contemplated starting a new blog, a fresh start - one that would be dedicated to these studies, but (obviously) decided against it. I already have one that will work perfectly fine to showcase another phase of my life, another era, and (hopefully) academic and intellectual growth. This leaves me vulnerable to judgement from previous life, but we all have them, so...so what?

Extra credit points are given to find an academic article demonstrating the benefits of blogging for academic purposes. I found that blogs have been considered by academics as both beneficial and cumbersome, but as Rohan Maitzen points out in his article, it is mostly about discovery and connection.  In an excerpt from his first blogging experience he states:

taking this extra step each week not only helped me identify the purpose, or, if writing retrospectively, the result of each class, but it made each week more interesting by giving me an opportunity to make connections or articulate puzzles or just express pleasure and appreciation in ways that went beyond what I had time for in class. I pursued links between my teaching and my research projects, for example, as well as between my teaching and my other 'non-professional' interests and activities. I articulated ideas suggested by class discussions that otherwise would have sunk again below the surface of my distracted mind. Blogging my teaching enhanced my own experience of teaching. (Maitzen, R. (2012). Scholarship 2 . 0 : Blogging and / as Academic Practice, 17(3), 351.)

If an academic article still leaves one to wonder, I found "15 Reasons Why I Think You Should Blog" from Joshua Becker a good personal reminder.

Looking forward to seeing you around more often. I'm off to reading 1,000 pages of textbooks now. Ciao.