Beatlemania 2010

I really thought there would be much more of a clatter about The Beatles' music becoming available on iTunes. Hardly is there ever a time or place where you would be able to find all of these songs and albums in one place, let alone get to purchase them at the same time. But there's a remarkable silence. Maybe the Beatles just aren't marketable anymore? Maybe they don't need to be.

There is nothing more I have desired as is with the Beatles Box Set. iTunes has set the price at an affordable $149.00 through instant download, and I am absolutely foaming at the mouth to download every lyrical vocal of that righteous band! Instead of these girls swooning over the four handsome artists in 1969,


it's me, swooning over my computer screen and drooling over all the songs I could have right at the tips of my fingers. For only $149.00! Man, I love Steve Jobs.

So is it right or wrong to own the Beatles songs only on a digital company? I am, afterall, a product of the Y generation. I know what CD albums are, but frankly, in my nomadic state of being, I can hardly tote around the crappy CD's I already own, let alone 13 of the finest albums ever recorded in the history of mankind!

Of course the backlog of this breakthrough is a long, and sometimes painful, history between Mr. Jobs, Apple and the band. There's also something about Michael Jackson in there, but apparently that really has nothing to do with this deal. While the late MJ shared the rights to over 260 Beatles songs, the original recording label, EMI and Apple Corps own the actual recordings of the songs performed, originally, by the Beatles.

This certainly puts my fears that I would somehow be ripping off the 1960's boy band to rest. Indeed, while sources say Apple Corps and the iApple we all know and love (or hate) will make less money from these downloads, the money that is profit from the deal will be shared in an undisclosed amount between the adoring Steve Jobs and the remaining Beatles (or their loved ones.)

And just think about all those OTHER artists that will also benefit from selling their music off of the "suggested artists" on iTunes. Those always get to me. Songs I love from The Rolling Stones, Creedence Clearwater Revival, The Monkees, Simon & Garfunkel, and company.

Ahhhh, all is well in the 21st century. Now, if I could just twitter Santa a heads up on this year's wish...

Pirate Radio Rocks!

Pirate Radio, a new movie starring Phillip Seymour Hoffman, rocks. The story, set in the late 1960's is laced with sexual innuendos, explicit language, drugs, alcohol and rock and roll, all aboard a ship cast off the shores of Great Britain, airing music that the BBC strictly would not play during a time of a music revolution. This story of DJ outcasts broadcasting from a large ship was a preliminary to the deep character of radio as we know it today. It's hilarious, touching, and entertaining.

If you love music, freedom, and revolt of government, you should go see it.

My love and passion of the broadcast medium come directly from radio. I, fortunately, have never had to live in a time when music was restricted from airwaves. Even when I was eight years old, the airwaves served as a comforting place for me to escape, and because of that love, I've been working in radio consistently during the last four years, as a sales representative, on-air DJ, and now a co-host to my own show.

There's just something about radio. The urgency of the airwaves, the tireless dedication it takes to program a station. The work live radio asks of the talent, and the relationships the public create with that talent, is a huge engine to a community. The energy and philosophy behind a live radio broadcast filter through the speakers and into the ears and minds of millions at a time. The entire opinion of the population can be changed in an instant with a radio broadcast. Radio shocks us, makes us laugh from unpredictable talk show hosts, inspires and teaches us, makes us mad, engages us. Even more than television, is the impact of radio. It makes a listener think in pictures, design with the mind. Without radio, all kinds of radio, we as human beings would be ridiculously ignorant to opinions and trends. Radio is responsible for information dissemination, for whatever information you want to consume, be it entertainment, politics, news, or weather.

Radio today faces many, many changes. Radio producers and owners fear the rise of the Internet and what it may mean to the fate of the industry. Now, instead of 29 stations in Anchorage (an absolutely ridiculous number of stations for the population), there are millions of stations available to anyone sitting in front of their computer, or connected to their cell phone. Listeners are seeking a broader taste of their favorite radio programs. Especially in Alaska, where radio isn't exactly pushing the boundaries of innovation or even talent, listeners are tuning in to national and international stations that give them everything they have ever wanted. So what is missing?


The Death of Community Radio

Community radio used to be where anyone could get the latest information on anything they wanted. It's true, today, again while at the computer, anyone can look up anything they desire and find only the information they desire. So the relationship has changed. It is no longer broadcast media feeding an audience information, be it in news reports or in advertising, but now, the consumer has that control through the Internet. Sure, if a listener doesn't like a song or an advertisement, they are at will to change the station to get their information elsewhere, but radio is a relationship medium. People may switch between a few stations, or even all of them, but most people, will find one or two (possibly three) stations they love, and will stay between them because they have developed a relationship with the character of the station and the talent on that station.

What may be easily underestimated is the place radio plays in a community. Internet radio will provide a place for listeners to get the news, talk, or music they want, but it won't have the information about what is happening in your community. Sure, some of this comes from advertising, which most people claim to hate, but think about it; isn't advertising doing you a favor? Aren't stores who are promoting their sales and specials, or even just promoting that they exists help you in your purchasing decisions? Some of it comes from the talent, from news updates, and from talk-show hosts, mostly also driven by advertising.


Good or bad?

There is no doubt radio will have to find a way to adapt to these changes in consumer relationships. I believe competition breeds innovation. While probably not as dramatic as newspapers, radio will indeed succumb to the Internet. And like newspapers, the radio industry will need to find a way to fight for their listeners to stay in touch with them. An old model of radio isn't going to work on the Internet, just like an old model of newspapers isn't going to work on the Internet. That is why they are failing.


The Solution

I don't know what the solution is to preserving the medium of radio, especially community driven radio, but I'm willing to offer one suggestion, and that's convergence.

By adopting a convergence model for all media types, radio, television and news reporting will retain their relationships with consumers. Of all the places to get the information one desires, the place that can offer it all will win. But, but, but... I can hear the buts...but what if? What would it mean to advertisers, who drive any media industry, to reach all types of media consumers? How much value does one place offer that allows consumers to get information of all kinds, their favorite kind, in one place? I'm not sure what it looks like exactly, but I am sure it will happen.

And like pirate radio, it will move the industry forth to include any type of information anyone ever wants to gain, while including community.

So, rock on.

The Count: To all our listeners, this is what I have to say - God bless you all. And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over. Years will come, years will go, and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place. But all over the world, young men and young women will always dream dreams and put those dreams into song. Nothing important dies tonight, just a few ugly guys on a crappy ship. The only sadness tonight is that, in future years, there'll be so many fantastic songs that it will not be our privilege to play. But, believe you me, they will still be written, they will still be sung and they will be the wonder of the world.
- from the Pirate Radio movie

Tedx

Today I spent the better part of my time sitting in the Syndey Laurence Theatre in the Performing Arts Center in Anchorage. I was excited about the prospects of hearing new ideas and taking myself to another level of understanding. I was attending the first ever Tedx Anchorage event.

If you aren't familiar with Ted, it's a concept to take note of, especially if you consider yourself to be intelligent, enjoy thought-provoking material, and embrace curiosity. If you don't own (or admit to owning) any of these traits, Ted is probably not for you, but I would encourage you to take a peek anyway.

I admit when the concept of Ted was first introduced to me, I thought it would be a place where the quacks of the world come together to talk about quacky things. You know, things that sound like they could be something great, until you realize that the material is what you realized years ago, and mostly relate to common sense principles. I guess it's always good to reevaluate those principles, ones that make up the very fabric of your being, but that's the thing. I guess I assume that since this cognitive understanding is a part of the fabric of me, then why do I need to listen to someone preach about it? I don't. (Though I see the value of the message and I've also seen the impact they have on opening people's eyes and minds to experience life in just another sphere.)

Ted isn't like that. In fact, Ted could very well leave you in the dust if you aren't paying attention, and if your mind and your body aren't already subscribing to these very principles. Am I being vague? Perhaps principles could be replaced with enlightenment. It just sounds a bit pretentious, but I think it probably best describes what I am trying to convey. So if you desire or subscribe to being enlightened (and if you aren't above it), Ted will take you there in ways you wouldn't expect.

TED is a small nonprofit devoted to Ideas Worth Spreading. It started out (in 1984) as a conference bringing together people from three worlds: Technology, Entertainment, Design. Since then its scope has become ever broader. Along with the annual TED Conference in Long Beach, California, and the TEDGlobal conference in Oxford UK, TED includes the award-winning TEDTalks video site, the Open Translation Program, the new TEDx community program, this year's TEDIndia Conference and the annual TED Prize.

-Ted.com, read more here

Social Fundraising- Anchorage Twestival. Meet. Tweet. Give.

With the emergence of social media is coming a whole new world of possibilities for making money. But this isn't just for commerce. People right here locally are raising money for organizations with the help, or sole aide of social media such as Twitter and Facebook.

If you aren't twittering or Facebooking you are missing out on a big piece of the world as we know it. What were originally dismissed forms of communication are now very real pieces to any business or person's marketing strategy.

So what is Twestival? Aside from taking a few times to let it roll of your tongue, it's a fun word to say and a fun concept. In short, it's a global idea to raise awareness and dollars for local non-profits. Cities around the world have chosen to be a part of Twestival including San Francisco, Amsterdam, Beijing and Oslo.

But WAIT! THERE'S MORE!

Using the partnerships of Amiando, Go To Meeting, Blurb, Scribble Live, Causecast, Twibbon, moo.com, Huddle, and Genius Rocket, Twestival has developed a strategy for raising money where 100% of the proceeds go toward the goal. If you have ever been involved in fundraising, you know what this means. If you haven't, you should know that organizations have to pay stiff fees for using credit card processors, online registration modems, printing and advertising that eat at a usually high percentage of the funds raised. All of these services have been provided from these partners allowing every single red cent to be counted toward the goal of each good-doer group goal.

Twestival has even enlisted in the help of Ashton Kutcher and the story has been picked up from news organizations like CNN and even rumored to be showcased by Oprah.



Twestival Anchorage is raising money in support of the Alaska Native Arts Foundation to the tune of $75,000. The events are happening September 11-13 internationally, but there are several large community events happening that weekend (including the 5th Annual Mardi Gras Street Party on 4th Ave.), so the Anchorage event happens September 15 at the newly remodeled Anchorage Museum at Rasmuson Center.



If you're still cornfused about the whole idea, take a few minutes to try it for yourself! Sign up for a Twitter account and start tweeting!!! If your opinion about social media still includes the word cumbersome, then retweet back to good ole' word of mouth. Talk to people about Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, LinkedIn, etc and learn about what they are, how they differ from one another and how you can benefit by connecting with people virtually. And talk to people about Twestival.

With this concept comes much more than even I can understand, including a book of twestivals which will feature A-Town's very own, videos, and blogs.

I was surprised to find many Twestival videos with a simple search on YouTube.

Twestival is an encouraging sign of people caring about their community and finding new and innovative ways to engage, locally, nationally, globally. There is still much to learn and much to create when it comes to virtual tools, but it's nothing to be scared of and it's certainly nothing to dismiss. You will surely see more events like Twestival pop up in the future, and now is a great time to see what it's all about. If meeting in person is still your style, I'll see you September 15 at the Museum. Buy your tickets here, or donate online.

Exercise Creativity

Exercise Creativity

Short Codes - Instant ROI

Short Codes - Instant ROI

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Three Sheets

Begin the end to my almost one week infatuation with my new MacBook. I've successfully updated my blog, completed my taxes, uploaded my entire music collection, found old digital photos, and wasted copious amounts of time and energy updating calendars, syncing digital software, and finding new stuff on the Internet to watch. Like my new favorite show: Three Sheets. I didn't get all the way through the episodes, but I highly recommend checking out any segment of the three seasons listed on Hulu. Posted here is Belgium. Two of my personal favorites are Barcelona and Scotland. Cheers!

Crecendo

In the rising of the Sun, Trees begin to tilt upward. Rivers begin to drip. The heads of people begin to turn toward Light.



Like a Savior rising from Dead. Like sudden Hope on the edge of Despair. Everything awoke, slowly, achingly, showing inside, growing outside.



Slowness is inbred into All, and collectively All begins to bloom. Waking up from a long afternoon nap, Drunkenness looms, and Soon Enough eases off to the pedal of Speed. Faster and faster Life awakes. In the uncovering of One, lies the discovery of Another. With Motivation all around, They explode at once, Pollen flies, Wind taking it whole and letting it spread.



Life springs everywhere. It starts as a quiet hum, and brings Things almost to a pause. Is It there? Once confirmed is exaggerated.



Suddenly, the Best is excessive. The Noise is deafening. Chaos ensues, ruptures and melts until Nothing can be distinguished.



Resources exhausted, Oxygen begins to slow. It's difficult to breathe and All collectively sigh, deciding to die again for months, together.



Stagnant, the Earth remains. Quiet without Energy. Only with Grey and Solemn. Relived and Tired.



When the final rest is achieved, Eye opens, searching for Light and finally finding it. Determined to bring Life to All.

Thank you, Stuart Smalley

In the middle of life's chaos, I am faced with the realization that every other human, and in particular woman, goes through the exact same things I do. It is easy, especially in Alaska, to think that I am the only person who goes through this life in this way... but it is always comforting to understand that women, even older than myself, are just now experiencing the same feelings, insecurities, troubles, and understandings as myself. Then, I have to tell myself, I'm not doing too bad. Despite relapes, soft spots, bad decisions, I am doing okay- just fine.

...and to credit this blog... Stuart Smalley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xqKkLlCfLE

For the Love of Music

I find it an interesting debate- the love and resistance of music. What is it about music that makes people turn the channel, talk openly, or act in a fit of panic?

Music is a form of expression. In this country, in civic organizations we belong, in our own homes and businesses, we allow the intrusion of music into our lives. Who determines the point when music is not appropriate for situations?

I am asking only because of a recent incident at a Chamber of Commerce event where the music from one of my stations was turned off mid-song because someone questioned if it was an "appropriate format" for this venture.

Why not?, I ask. What would be so bad about people actually bumpin' around together in the middle of a slow day at the Business Expo? What?, would the Anchorage Daily News dispatch the moles into the Egan Center to spy on the happenings there? And when they ended up reporting that people who had never met through a day long fair, were actually meeting each other because they enjoyed the music, it would be printed in a front cover story, and the Chamer would be looked at in a bad light? Perhaps it would draw a "wrong crowd" of business members into the organization. (Shhhh, liberals...)

It's an interesting study of human pyche-everyone is in the same place for the same reason, yet something entirely different, like music, establishes the one common ground needed to spark that important connection between humans. Isn't that the point of having functions such as these? Why hinder that because someone has to spend five minutes listening to music that is outside their comfort zone? In fact, I could even go so far as to argue that is actually a dis-service to the people who paid to come to this event, marketing their business, and have a good time. By monitoring the music based on personal opinion, they took the responsibily to jepordize a possible aspect no one expected.

Besides the "good time" aspect of my point, I am also insulted. The Chamber of Commerce is a membership organization that is supported, driven, and formed for members. As a member, I feel like the integrity of our sponsorship was waived when someone was uncomfortable with a particular song. Not only that, but the song was turned off in the middle- so EVERYONE knew it stopped. What upsets me the most, however, is that no one gave the curtiousy to my company to tell us what was going to transpire. One moment I'm listening to "Toosie Roll" the next moment the song is cut mid-rythm. No comprendo.

By turning off the music before telling us there was a problem was disrespectful to my product and my company. My product is music and as a sponsor, we were allowed to present the music we wanted for this event. There was no clause that stated "Overall music selection will be the final word of the Chamber of Commerce. Only listed formats are acceptable." By shutting the music off, without warning, the Chamber inadvertedly said, "Your product is not good enough for this event. We don't respect your company or your choice of music." When really, all the Chamber should be concerned about is supporting our business and the decisions we make (within reason, of course...)

This is a loosing battle, however. Nothing I say or do about this incident will help me. It will only hurt me. "Non-conformist!", I can hear them scream. "Troublemaker!" "Our organization is just fine being bone dry- so shut the hell up with your music debate."

Fine. I digress. But it makes me see clearly the politics of local civic organizations when something as simple and beautiful and connecting as music, is a place of real fear.

Artist: Lyrics

Song: I Love To Laugh

Lyrics

Uncle Albert:I love to laugh

Loud and long and clear

I love to laugh

It's getting worse ev'ry year

The more I laugh

The more I fill with glee

And the more the glee

The more I'm a merrier me

It's embarrassing!

The more I'm a merrier me!

Mary Poppins: Some people laugh through their noses

Sounding something like this "Mmm..."

Some people laugh through their teeth goodness sake

Hissing and fizzing like snakes

Bert:Some laugh too fast

Some only blast - ha!

Others, they twitter like birds

Then there's the kind

What can't make up their mind

Uncle Albert:When things strike me as funny

I can't hide it inside

And squeak - as the squeakelers do

I've got to let go with a ho-ho-ho...

And a ha-ha-ha...too!

All:We love to laugh

Loud and long and clear

We love to laugh

So ev'rybody can hear

The more you laugh

The more you fill with glee

And the more the glee

The more we're a merrier we!

Home, Home on the Range

So I made it home and back again. I was so excited to be back on my own stomping grounds, back to the places where all my firsts happened in Creston, Iowa: my first broken heart, my first drink, my first home. As well as my second home, in Ames, Iowa- where I went to college, and made friends who would soon spread across the entire nation. With all the anticipation of coming home, smelling the familiar smells of the Midwest, and seeing the familiar grounds of Iowa, I forgot about one thing.

That eventually you have to say goodbye to it all again.

This lesson was pretty evident from the very beginning of the trip. Christmas is such a crazy time for people. Pressures mount around the holiday, gifts here, gifts there, family here, friends there. So many people are cramming in so many activities that soon I felt caught up in the whirlwind of it all.

I loved every minute of it. For days afterward I was still digesting the coversations I had with lost acquaintances, classmates from high school, sisters from my sorority. Life is evident still. It does go on. Mine, yours, everyone's. Even people who were still doing exactly the same thing at the same time everyday were still living in the experiences of everyone else around them.

There are so many wonderful memories I made during this trip that will last me a lifetime.

Of course, every trip has it's own personality and no matter how much you plan for it, things always end up a little differently than expected. For instance, I ended up being sick for a majority of the time. I dunno- some virus that tore apart my insides and made me feel like I was peeing out my ass- then a few days later turned it up a notch to the inside of my head and nose. The plane ride home is vaguely rememberable. Ah, who wants to remember plane rides, anyway-right?

No doubt the trip went fast, as I knew it would. I knew going into it what a precious opportunity it was to see and be a part of the lives again I used to know so well. In turn, I wanted to share a new part of myself that I have found while in Alaska, a part I am not so sure I could explain so well. I learned quickly though, that this trip really wasn't about me, but about the people who have shaped and molded me- the people I come from.

Afterall, that was the intent of my trip. That was what I was longing so much for. I wanted to be back amongst the people who knew me "back when", who could recall incredible encounters with the law, and breaking the law, that I guess I inteded to forget, and successfully did. I loved seeing everyone and had an amazing time with every person I met.

I realized, though, amongst all the celebration and laughs, that this is a place I used to belong when I used to be a fraction of the person I am now, and as I write this, I realize that these places will be places I always will belong, in a fraction.

How grateful I am to be able to look back with affection and fondness of the people I grew up with and the experiences I had with them. How fortunate I am to have such generous and caring people who will offer anything for my comfort, who appreciate my own choices and journeys in this life, who love me no matter where I am or what I look like.

Below are a few of the pictures I cherished while being home- there are so many. Coming back to Alaska, I brought with me the warm spirit of the Midwest that I love so much and cherish deeply as a part of who I am and what is ultimatly the most important to me. The people that surround me throughout this life are without a doubt the top tier of human beings.

To everyone in Alaska who helped me get there, and everyone in Iowa who helped me get back, thank you, I love you, and I cherish my friendships with each of you more than I could ever communitcate in any way.

Good Day

Jewel

i say to myself, self
why are you awake again? it's one a.m.
standin' with the fridge wide open, starin'
such a sight, florescent light- the stars are bright-might make a wish
if i believed in that shit
but as it is i might watch t.v.
cause it's nice to see poeple can be
more messed up than me
i say to myself
as i smile at the walls
let myself fall

it's gonna be alright
no matter what they say
it's gonna be a good day
just wait and see
it's gonna be alright
cause i'm okay with me

i shiver shut the door
can't think standin' here no more
i'm alone my mind's racing heart breaking
can you be everything i need you to be?
can you protect me like a daughter
can you love me like a father
can you drink me like water
say i'm like the desert
just way hotter
the point of it all
is that if i should fall
it's still your name i call

it's gonna be alright
no matter what they say
it's going to be a good day
just wait and see
it's gonna be ok
cause i'm ok with me
it's gonna be, it's gonna be, as long as we- laugh out loud-laugh like we are mad
cause this crazy mixed up beauty is all that we have
because what's love, but an itch we can't scrathc
a joke we can't catch
god but still we laugh
get back in bed
turn off the t.v.
you say it'll be alright, baby
just wait and see

uh-oh i'm awake again, it's one a.m.
staring
such a sight
well at least the stars are bright

I love Katie Couric

Katie Couric is my favorite television personality. I love her and who doesn't? The smile has it all, and beyond that, she can ask the hard questions without sounding accusing. She adds a sort of pep and waltz to her stories. She finds the humane side of news. So then, I was definatly tuning in as Ms. Couric made her debut tonight on nighttime television.

Of course, the critics were critical mentioning of all things, that bright smile America, and I, love, mentioning she'd need to tone it down to appeal to the nighttime television. Everything from her smile, to her style, clothing, and choice of words was going to need a noir makeover. No matter what, they agreed, she was going to have a hard time pleasing everyone.

I think everyone knew that, and as Katie opened tonight's CBS Evening News, she too, knew what was on the line. And like a pro, she kept it, well, black and white.

I always find fashion interesting on television, but also as a way of communication. Colors worn by television characters are meant to send a message as well. Katie wore a black dress, typical Couric 3/4 lengthish with a white suite jacket that was buttoned in the middle by two buttons and did a kind of flair from the hips. I thought the white blazed on television, and I wasn't overly won by the outfit, but it stood it's purpose. (Her shoes, btw, were very hot black pointed stillettos.)

Fashion and image, though superficial, is a real piece of our society; however remains a small bit. No matter what her outfit signified, or how it was worn, it still comes down to the presentation. Couric was understandibly reserved. Though she makes being on television look easy, what I saw in her eyes was uneasiness. And what made me relate to her, and my suspision for her sucess, is her ability to downgrade her position within the media for the common person. That is hard to do. Power changes people, and the power of the media is real and intense.

I have to admit that I was a little dissapointed when I learned of Katie's career change. What do you mean leave morning television? But...WHY??? To me, she doesn't seem like an exact fit, like her popularity allowed her to become the nighttime news anchor for a huge late-night program. Upon reflection, however, I commend her for taking a RISK in her career. I mean, honestly, once you have saturated the morning market with your smile and charm, blown all other morning programs out of the water, life seems pretty easy. Couric doesn't seem like the person who takes life the easy route. I admire that. That motivates me to become a woman willing to take risks for something better. It motivates me to not be a woman who will settle for whatever's next, and instead, take control of what I want to happen next.

While I am rooting for the Katie, I hope CBS allows her to still be the personality she has made for her television self. I guess the whole point of stepping out of your skin and doing something that isn't "normal" for you is part of defining yet another piece of yourself. The fear, of course, is learning a new part of yourself and losing the great part of yourself you just spent creating. I'm sure Couric, and the producers of CBS, realize the importance of her unique personality and what it brings to television and thier nighttime program. I hope tuning it down, doesn't mean tuning it off.

So that, along with many more reasons that would probably make me seem like a stalker is why I Love Katie Couric.


Check out what she's doing here if you want to see what great things she is up to.

Blind Date

In the literal mist here in Alaska, there is one thing that seems so sure. The rain makes it seem like a cold, droning, opening to an old investigator scene. With a man at a diner. And a gunshot in the distance.

However, in Anchorage, I feel the love all around me. And do you know what got me thinking so deeply about all this? (no...well, yeah, but...) no shit Blind Date.

There are several things interesting about the reason why I was watching Blind Date on a Friday night, but this is the reason I decided to write about:

Love.

All you need is love. (I thought from a marketing point of view.)

Taking a concept such as love in its purest form? What feels any more than love?

I actually thought Blind Date was a great show. The two dates I watched were different. One was a white couple in L.A. and the other was a black couple in L.A. The host was my friend, B.D.C. But he doesn't know it yet.

Anyway, that doesn't matter.

What matters is that these people are real. ? .

If you strip down the fact that it's an uncomfortable situation, and watch them as humans, it at least appears that they are sincere. And honestly, if they aren't... that doesn't really matter! What matters here, is that we share this love.

What is love made of? Honesty, some could say.

The bases of this show is people who are at least trying to be sincere. ? .

There are two types of people who go on this show:

1: they really think this will lead them to love, or
2: they get on T.V. to make an ass out of themselves.

People are sick of asses on television reality shows. People watch reality shows because they are supposed to be about real people.

This show allows each date to make a choice every time. It forces two people to have to spend almost 24 hours together, not ever meeting one another. It forces them to be "real" or "play the game."

Is it the same thing? Isn't in a way, playing the game is just being real? Or is staying real always playing the game?

But let's go back to being honest.

True, pure, unscathed love is to be honest with one another. Take a mother and her new-born baby. The purest love is there. The child, helpless, relies on his mother, the first person he ever saw, ever felt, to feed him and keep him warm and make him feel safe. The child is happy when he is taken care of. The mother is happy to take care of a human being that she birthed, and returns the love.

Pure kindness is made of love. Again an example of a child, offering a gift to someone older for no reason. Does it matter to a child if it is your birthday or not whether to offer you the flower? No, the nicest person to the child gets flowers first.

Love between two people, of any kind, does seem to be what makes this world go 'round. And secondly, is money(love).

Love and money(love).

And rock n' roll(love).

And beer(love).

And cars. (yeah...)

While it may seem like a cold opening to a dreary movie in Anchorage, it is actually a time of love and warmth. I can feel it everywhere if I just let it. Because while I am Signing in the Rain, something is telling me to look inside myself and face whatever fear I have of facing the world.

That is the only thing that truely scares me.

...and because advertising seems to be the topic of the night, I know you will appreciate this.

In light of the new- annoying- Geico TV ads, one question remains:

What happened to the geiko?

Chicks do it Again

The new Dixie Chicks album rocks. Literally. Before you even pop it into the player, the Chicks deliver. Taking the Long Way is the first album from the harmonious country threesome in four years. I love it.

The ladies sport a look like none other in country music and hearing the pipes of Natalie wailing above the harmony of sisters Emily and Martie with true soul is a refreshing course of music. Even the actual CD is a rock solid black with black embossed DCX. They may be chicks, but their not taking any shit, no matter how big and mean and redneck and republican you are.

The Chicks return spiced with more attitude, more meaning, and more inspiration for their loyal fans. I am trying to figure out how I can get to Seattle to catch them on tour. I am pretty upset that they will be playing at the Greatest Fair Ever in August and I won't be able to make it. I'm sure they are making it up here... but until then, I love this song and hope you do too. I've always been one taking....

The Long Way Around - Dixie Chicks

My friends from high school married their high school boyfriends
Moved into houses in the same ZIP codes where their parents live
but I
I could never follow
No I
I could never follow

I hit the highway
In a pink RV with stars on the ceiling
Lived like a gypsy Six strong hands on the steering wheel
I've been a long time gone now
But I've always found my way somehow
By takin' the long way
Takin' the long way around

I met the queen of whatever
Drank with the Irish
Smoked with the Hippies
Moved with the shakers
Wouldn't kiss all the asses they they told me to
No I
I could never follow
No I
I could never follow

It's been two long years now
Since the top of the world came crashing down
And I'm getting it back on the road now
But I'm taking the long way
Taking the long way around

Well I fought with a stranger and I met myself
I opened my mouth and I heard myself
It can get pretty lonely when you show yourself
Guess I could have made it easier on myself
But I could never follow

Well I never seem to do it like anybody else
Maybe someday, someday I'm gonna settle down
If you ever want to find me I can still be found
Takin' the long way around...

What's This Life For?

There is a fair amount of intensely moving energy surrounding me this past week. Mom's visit to Alaska was met with sheer anxiety, hope, desperation, and love. This was the first time I got to show her, one person I desperately want to satisfy, what my new life in The Last Frontier is like. I wanted wallow in her virgin eyes of this land, and show her the most flooring parts. I wanted to show off my amazing group of friends, and the generosity of the people here. I wanted to her to go back to Iowa and report back to my family how great I was: perhaps boast for me- yes, Alaska really is that beautiful and expensive and engaging. Yes, it's cold. Yes, she is doing great. I think my expectations were so high for what I wanted to impress upon my mother, that I may have lost sight of why I really wanted to see my mom. I miss her and I miss the Midwest. Now that she is gone and the experience is a memory, I wonder why I didn't cherish this time with her most for me.

I know myself well enough to understand when I am not acting like myself. I felt like I spent a lot of the last week building myself back up with bricks that I have worked so hard in the last two years to tear down. I know that this is because my mind is going back to the relationship I last had with my mother where I was a very different person with impermeable walls. And I realize now that I wasn't myself because I was scared to show her the rawness of me. Scared to show her how different I am than I have ever been in my lifetime. Scared to face her as a woman and not a child.

One thing about family that is haunting is that they have seen every stage of your life- and can recall stages that maybe you even can not. I guess in every family that bit of that information can be scary or relieving. Looking back, I think my family has seen my worst stages more than the true person I am. Why?



Friday morning I got the phone call no one wants. Trauma in Iowa has brought news to Alaska of the death of a friend who died very, very suddenly at the age of 22. The phone call you never want when you live in a different region of the world that slaps you back into the reality of life. How random and unforgiving life is. How sudden something in an instant can change life so dramatically- so thoughtlessly. As my eyes are welling up while driving to work, I felt the world change. I felt a piece of the warmth and wholeness and goodness of this world disappear. I felt the world lose a good soul, and I saw for a split instant the skeleton of who we are in this place.

Times like these, amongst the goods, make it the most difficult to live here. Many may believe it is the elements, or the wildlife, or whatever- but for me the hardest thing about living here is recognizing that life is still happening everywhere else- and it's happening without me. Marriage, babies, death, anniversaries, birthdays- the life milestones of my people that bring humans together to remember why we really are here. Death in itself is a celebration, another milestone, and the gateway to yet another journey. Perhaps. Tradegy makes us human and can force us to face obstacles that are otherwise easy to dismiss and shelve. Tradegy throws life into our face daring us to live it- and wisely.



Wrapped around all this sort of inner confusion and persecution have been the strong arms of my Pooh. It feels good to know I can get through these troughs of life by myself, but it feels better when someone is holding my hand. Love is a funny thing and as my ultra-wise girlfriend mentioned today, there is an easy love and a committal love. Frightening words. When I thought more than anything that is the last thing I want, I am facing it with a huge-ass smile- and it feels so good.




Love, Death, Humility.

Is this what life is for?

The Next: American Idol

I confess: I'm a fan of American Idol. Not religiously like some people. I cannot name spouses, or bands, or children of the contestants. I don't even think I could tell you how many contestants there are. But I'm excited for The Next: American Idol.

In general, finales of this nature are typically heavy on the cheezy side. I seem to get a little uncomfortable when ten "almost stars" sing together new, poppy rendentions of old classics in their own scale-manipulating ways. And just because one can sing- don't mean thay can dance, even if it is horribly choreographed with overly simplistic sways and side-steps. The live audience seems to have even been coached when to hoo and holler, clap, sway, or maybe they were just following suite from the idols, whatever the case, it the choreography was still ba-a-d.But I know I am not alone when I say this cheese-bit keeps me hanging on for the next act, even if at times they do resemble circus performers. Perhaps that is why the largest audience since the SuperBowl is tuning in to watch who will be The Next: American Idol.

I think one of the most engaging aspects of American Idol is the contestants seem really humble about their fame. (In my opinion could have been the biggest downfall for Paris. Ah, she'll be fine. I'm pretty sure her career was set after the first note she sang for American Idol.) But especially the two finalists come across as being honestly genuine about their ability to entertain literally billions of people worldwide. Even their head shots depict this.

American Idol makes dreams come true. Tonight, it did it with the help of stars from across many genres of music- though without the help of the First American Idol, Kelly Clarkson. All the guest appearances were amazing. Stunning performances from Prince, Toni Braxton, Mary J. Blige, Clay Aiken, and others.

To keep it fresh, American Idol initiated a few new traditions like the Golden Idol Award, where they recognize and publicly re-humiliated some of the worst auditioneers they came across during auditions. Most, as Ryan Seacrest noted, were smart enough to figure they'd actually had their fill of fame and respectfully (or not) declined to accept such an honor on live television. Some, however, did gleefully accept the award and American Idol showed viewers that, yes, they did have a heart for the poor souls. Especially moving was the chance one contestant got to sing on stage with a guest appearance from his own idol, Clay Aiken. (who by the way looks as if he has added a few pounds and shed his distinctive spiked hair for a dark and shiny, long, layered and very sexy European do. Dark looks good on you, Clay.) The recipient of the award was given a second chance during the audition to pee, and I thought it was going to be an issue again, when he turned around to, by surprise duet with the former idol star.

And I just can't help but mention the hilarious bit with Wolfgang Puck and North Carolina Chick, Kellie Pickler. Watching a deep, southern, white girl

a) try to pronounce words such as calamari and escargot

b) scream in utter fear of live lobsters

c) blantantly refusing to eat such things from a world-renouned chef

was seriously one of the best segments of the entire show. They were having fun (or at least he was...)

As the above picture of Hicks and McPhee illustrates, it was all about fun for the participating contestants. Many times during the season, I was having fun with the performers- the music choices, personalities, and on-stage chemistry lasted until the finale. This was when true colors were revealed on-stage with singers paired together in duets, trios, all guys, all girls, solos, etc. I may even say that should Alaska ever get the chance to bring the American Idols up here, I would most certainly go. I think everyone will. Though even if the whole state showed up to the concert, it would still be a measly comparison to the fan-base this show continues to create and foster. Note the 63.4 million people who exercised their right to vote- more than any other president vote. Of course, the presidential vote really isn't based on popularity anyway. The president probably is not having a lot of fun these days and certainly is not The Next: American Idol.

I am genuinely excited to see what the Soul of Jazz, Taylor Hicks, will create as The Next: American Idol.