Thoughts on the Planning Commission

Decisions are hard and Robert’s Rules of Order are harder.

When does one person’s property rights outweigh the other? How are communities protected to ensure the nature of their community is retained? You fight for it.

You fight for what you believe in. You say whatever you need to say, you write whatever you need to write. You stand up for whatever it is that you believe in. And you move on. Sometimes you will win. And sometimes you will lose.

Sometimes I will be more articulate than other times. Sometimes I will wonder if my head is connected to my body. If I’m alive, I can be sure it is.

I walked in tonight to lights on. Everything was the same way I left it, except my suitcase was in the middle of the floor, his open, contents askew against the wall. He on couch, asleep.

Nothing moved since I left that morning, except the note I left him on the mirror. “welcome home, my love” xoxo

My half drunk cup of tea remained on the counter – a paperweight for an article on how to compose your marriage to restore love. A spoon left on the counter from the honey, an empty glass left there too. The folded sheets left on the ground, needing to be put away, still there, with the remote on top of it. That wasn’t where I left it. The blinds of the full side windows still drawn up.

“Hello!” I yell from the outside downstairs door.

“Hello,” I answer softer to myself.

Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. Don’t be mad. My mantra walking up the stairs to the impending scene I know awaits me. 

I took off my jewelry as he laid on the couch snoring. I was tired after a long day of school, catching up from a weekend in Portland and a late meeting from the planning commission. I was excited to see him again, since we last met in Portland. He’d been gone almost two weeks and I was looking forward to having him home.

The commission meeting was a contentious one. A poor man who bought an ill-fated property for him and his 19 dogs – and a NIMBY neighborhood who didn’t take the opportunity to actually talk to him before protesting his desires. They attacked him all night while he articulately and with integrity explained his plans. Alas, the commission denied him the permit, with my vote the lone in support. It was a long meeting, but I was proud of myself, and eager to brag to my biggest fan about one of the best public speeches I thought I had ever made.

But he was asleep on the couch, like usual.

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And nothing waited for me but a stack of homework and a blank page to write it out.