It's About Me

The bottom line of what people really want to say in life is

"What about me?"

Above any other objective they have to achieve, at the end of the day, any person relates every situation back to themselves. Many people think about this subconsciously, and never culminate the idea to understand what it means to them. Many keep their opinions, their realizations to themselves, in order not to embarrass or perhaps enhance the people around them. Some people just blab it around to anyone who will listen.

What is it about information that is so attractive? What is it that makes people seek it like a precious metal, yearn for more, quest the ultimate answer? Maybe because there is no ultimate answer except for the one that lies therein.

That being said, one may not be able to realize their own understanding without going outside of oneself, seeking another solution from people leading different lives than their own. Thus is listening to what others experience and learn and take with them in this life. While I am a huge advocate of the comprehensive sharing of information from one to another, particularly in life experiences, some people rub me raw when they don't know when to shut up.

I like to think of myself as an intelligent person, who understands and retains information mostly the first time I learn it. So people who repeat their stories or go on unnecessary tangents to bring me up to speed with their current story irritate me and quite frankly border on being offensive. I find comfort in understanding that it is not about me, to them it is about them, and this isn't personal. Maybe they just don't remember telling me their story the first time.

The same holds with people who make a general statement like:

"He was being really nice to me."

and spend the next thirty seconds defending why that statement is actually true.

"Like he offered me water, some wine, a rolled joint- just being so sweet to me. I mean, everything he was doing- he was, like, serving my every need at that time- offered me dinner- just really being a sweetheart."

yada yada. I got it the first time- your point, please?

Of course these parts of conversations usually are followed by comments directly relating back to themself. For instance:

"So I told him I wasn't hungry then, but an hour later, he pulls out some lasagna and offers me a bite, I am, like, 'HELLO? Didn't I just say only one hour ago, that I would be ready for food now?' "

Um, no, to a man that is not what you said. You said, "I do not want to be fed again by you during the remaining waking hours of this day." So naturally, he never would think you would want eat at all.

I find it somewhat amusing when people like this actually complain about others like themselves.

"He just keeps talking about himself for, like, three weeks! All I got to say was the occasional 'uh-huh' and 'ummm'."

Ummm, I know the feeling...

While I am much better at being critical on someone else rather than myself, I do like to think I hold myself accountable for my own character and behaviors, and try to hold these standards of intelligence to the people I associate with. Because of this, I find it hard to have to repeat my stories and offer background information that I know one knows to make my point, because it means you:

1) Weren't listening
2) Indicating you don't care
3) signaling to me what I am saying and who I am is not important to you


Of course this is taking their behaviors personally, but you'll have that. Generally, I don't really like people who offer these signals to the table, so I would rather not tell these stories to those people to begin with.

Because of course, this is all about me.