A Five Week Sprint in a Circle

I feel like I have just whiped it together since I got back from Chicago. It has been a whirlwind of changes and business and...stuff.

And this is what I recently realized: I'm doing everything and nothing for myself. That has got to change.

I simply can't live my life warped in media and lost in my job. I can't always answer the question "What have you been doing?" with the response "work." It's lame and I need to expect more for myself from myself.

This is harder to do than expected. I know I am surrounded by lots of people who care very much about me, but I also know they all have lives of their own as well- just like I do. I never want to loose my own vivacity- my own appreciation of life.

I hear myself saying, "I NEED HELP!" in every area of my life and then just waiting for the answer to arrive and make it all better. That's really not working, either. Humh. I think I am lazy in that way, maybe even taught to be lazy there, because it is easier to put yourself through physical labour, instead of mental self-exhaustion.

All I know, is that the path I have been on for awhile has been going nowhere but in circles. I am exhausted from running circles around myself. I must find a better, more productive, more effecient way to live this life. I don't want to look back, dizzy and whirling, only to find myself in the same place I was before.

I am grateful to have the Leadership Anchorage program now. I am very much looking forward to personal growth through this program. I need structure; I need discipline, I need direction. I need someone or something to give me a reason to want something more. I need to figure out what I want, and I hope this is a good path to travel for those answers.